I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
