So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
