using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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