vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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