He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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