Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
