we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
