College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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