East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize