Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
