he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
