normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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