There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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