I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
