I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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