is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize