I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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