dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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