champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
