Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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