he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
