I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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