Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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