Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
