Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
