We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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