Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize