They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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