battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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