And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize