Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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