I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
