check it out our google latitudes are spooning
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
