even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
