I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
