Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
