why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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