currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
