Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
