Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
