My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize