a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
