We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Randomize