Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
