Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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