Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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