I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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