If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
