took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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