I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
