we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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