he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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