Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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