she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
