I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
only if we run a train.
done.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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