You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
