i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
