i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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