If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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