i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
