My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
