I just pynch a tree in the face
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
