bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
