I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
