His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
time to smoke my breakfast
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
