Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
