How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm sobbing to NWA
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
