So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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